mwalesh

Notre Dame McDamie Face

December 17, 2021 mwalesh

**= My own restoration plan for Notre Dame has not yet been officially recognized but its only a matter of time +**

Everybody’s favorite charred cathedral has been in the news recently for controversial restoration “updates” like mood lighting and light projections that many fear will turn the historic gothic edifice into a theme park.

Which brings me back to my own ND restoration (or rather renovation) proposal…

NOTRE DAME MCNOTREDAMIE FACE!
Go big or go home ami right?

850 year old relic of gothic worship, smership!

What Our Lady needs is some 21st century innovation!

And what better than some modern inspiration from other Paris landmarks, like the Centre Pompidou?
Thankfully we still have two towers to work with, so why not model one after Renzo Piano and Richard Rodger’s 1970’s masterpiece? Let’s destroy the right tower and put color coded architectural elements in its place! Who doesn’t love air vents?

**The pop of blue color will be aesthetically pleasing after eight centuries of dull beige**

That unsettling canapy covering the dodgy underground meca of shopping, transport, and illicit drug deals at Chatelet / Les Halles took more than a few years to install, but look how its thriving now! Why shouldn’t Notre Dame have its own protective covering?

Let’s not forget the huge donation promised by LVMH aka Louis Vuitton/Moët Hennessy. 200 million euros deserves a flag on top of the new Notre Dame non?
Mr. Selma Hayek (François-Henri Pinault) also promised 100 million buckaroos and since we are updating the cathedral, why not put a pretty face on those fugly gargoyles?
We can add the King of French Rock Johnny Hallyday too!

During the fire of April 15th, I was heartbroken to watch the medieval roof structure, including that majestic towering spire, burn and fall. But that’s to be expected when 850 year old matchsticks light up in an inferno?
Let’s go with a more durable, eco-friendly modern spire.. taking inspiration from I.M. Pei’s pyramid at the Louvre, I gave Notre Dame her own testament to longevity- A Glass Pyramidy Thing!
Now we can admire all the tourists seeking the perfect angle with their selfie sticks as they “touch” the tip!

While we are at it, let’s make this a place for everyone to enjoy, not just those prudish pilgrims!

From now on locals and tourists alike can enjoy lukewarm 15€ cocktails and IPAs on the new rooftop bar!
With the outdoor escalator (inspired by Centre Pompidou!) you can cruise past all those boring worshipers on your way to the bar! Sha-wing!

An authentic Nordic Chatelet could be added to the roof for a 30 person max capacity, complete with sauna and outdoor BBQ (equipped with fire extinguishers of course haha). Air BnB is taking over Paris, why not give them a little roof top space with 360 degree views, a hot tub, and mirrored ceilings? It ain’t sin if its outside the church right?

To appease even the most Bobo Parisian, we have a solution to get those pesky trotinettes off the sidewalks.. Park them on the roof of this holy gothic masterpiece of a cathedral!

And last but not least, large and obnoxious signs to remind even the most stubborn Parisian to pick up their dog poo and cigarette butts.

There I fixed it!
Or.. Not.

If you have read this entire post, hopefully you can read beyond the sarcasm. Notre Dame Cathedral should be restored as it was, taking as much time as necessary and using the best available materials as replacements.
If the Mona Lisa was damaged, would we update her to accommodate the 21st century?
No, she would be returned to her original condition, in the best way possible.
Let’s give Notre Dame de Paris the same courtesy.

latin quarter, Maps

Deceptively Skinny Paris Buildings

October 26, 2021December 22, 2021 mwalesh

You either love or hate the uniformity of Parisian buildings, where about 60% of what you see is characterized as the classic architectural style “Haussmann”. The typical six story creamy stone facades with wrought iron details are as synonymous to the idealized image of Paris as the Eiffel Tower and baguettes. Sure the city could use a bit more PIZAZZ but there are quite a few architectural oddities if you know where to look for them. My favorites are the deceptively skinny buildings you can find in the 15th, 12th, and 5th arrondissements Known in French as “façades bègues”.

Depending on the angle you are viewing them from, you might have the impression they are part of a Hollywood-esque movie set or the homes of ex-Victoria Secret models or Matthew McConaughey circa ‘Dallas Buyers Club’ until you change your perception and realize all is not as it seems.

There are a few reasons for this! 1. The architect simply had to make do with a narrow piece of land

**Rue Beauregard, Paris 2. Photo Paris Zig Zag. This building dates to the second half of the 17th century and is known as the Pointe Trigano. It is considered the narrowest building in Paris**

2. There used to be another building or structure that was previously adjoined but has since been removed, leaving the existing building awkwardly exposed.

**Rue Charonne Paris 12. Photo Paris Zig Zag**

One perfect example is in the Latin Quarter at 14 rue Thouin, where this curious building dating from 1688 once leaned upon the fortified defensive wall built by Philippe Auguste that encircled Paris from 1190 until it was mostly destroyed in the late 17th century. If you can manage to sneak to the back when the gate is open, it’s possible to still see remnants of this wall today.

**Rue Thouin Paris 5. Photo Paris La Douce**

Maps, Outside Paris

The Desecration of the Basilica of Saint Denis: Part One

October 15, 2021October 18, 2021 mwalesh

1 Rue de la Légion d’Honneur, 93200 Saint-Denis

You are probably all too familiar with the depravity which took place during the Reign of Terror. Public executions, bloody massacres, fear and betrayal were all common themes during daily life in the early 1790’s. But the revolutionary madness didn’t stop when King Louis XVI and his wife Queen Marie Antoinette were beheaded along with thousands of others; pissed off revolutionaries kicked the destruction of the ancient régime up a notch by desecrating the royal tombs at the Basilica of Saint Denis.

**Saint Denis Basilica. The image on the left is before the destruction of the left tower in 19th century, which apparently will be rebuilt one of these days.**

This place was the last stop for French Royals, who traditionally were laid to rest here since the 10th century, with the first being King Dagobert in 639 all the up to Louis XVIII in 1815. Under the pretext of recuperating lead from their coffins (and any precious objects from the bodies), the Convention National gave their thumbs up to ransack the royal relics and their contents beginning August 10th 1793, which was a symbolic kick to the royal balls as this was the one year anniversary from when the Tuileries Palace was taken and the monarchy officially put aside. The pillage and defilement would continue all the way through January 1794, with the worst of the damage done in October.

**Painting by Hubert Robert of the Violation of the Kings’ tombs in 1793**

Benediction monk Dom Poirir, who lived at the basilica- and Alexandre Lenoir both wrote accounts of their experiences observing these events, including the state of the bodies when the tombs were open. If you are as morbid as I am, check out the photos below with witness descriptions (carefully translated in scholarly english by moi) for yourself.

The process was described as “Most of the bodies were decaying. A foul-smelling, thick, black vapour was released, which they desperately tried to dispel with vinegar and powder that they had taken the precaution of burning, which did not prevent the workmen from feeling unwell and feverish but without consequences”.

**His body was thrown face down in the communal pit, just like his dad Henry.**

Altogether, the embalmed bodies of 46 kings and 32 queens (along with their children and even some servants, making 170 in total) would be evicted from their final resting places. After the caskets were taken out from their marble exteriors, they were opened and all valuables within were taken (this included jewelry, golden garments, even shoe buckles) from the bodies representing 700 years of French history.

**His body was described as black as ink**

They were then delicately laid to rest in more modest accommodations AKA ruthlessly dumped together in two communal pits just outside the basilica (separating the Valois and Bourbon dynasties) with a layer of quick lime thrown on top for good measure.

**Apparently Louis XV was the only king not embalmed due to dying from smallpox.** **Bet the guys who opened his tomb wish they knew that before they lifted the lid…**

It wasn’t until 1817 that King Louis XVIII (younger brother of Louis XVI) dutifully dug up all the remains and re-laid them to rest in an ossuary at the basilica, along with what he could gather up of his brother and sister in law Marie Antoinette, who had been tossed in an unmarked grave at the Madeleine Cemetery in Paris after they were beheaded. Today this cemetery is no longer visible, and a memorial known as the Chapelle Expiatoire has taken its place, dedicated to the memory of the royal family.

**Funeral monuments of Louis and Marie Antoinette at the Saint Denis Basilica**

Fortunately not everything was destroyed during the Royal Desecration Festival of 1793 and you can still visit the basilica today to see some of the funerary monuments as well as the remarkably lifelike effigies that survive today.

**Account of the state of Louis XV’s body by Alexandre Lenoir** said it was so decayed and putrid that breathing in the air was impossible and they shot off guns in the hopes that the powder and smoke would deflect the rotting odor. His body was quickly disposed of.

**The body of Henry IV, Alexandre Lenoir**. **His tomb and body were left out for anyone to see for several days.**

As for Part Two- don’t think the horror ended with the tomb raiders tossing aside their shovels, dusting off their hands, and calling it a day. Stay tuned to discover what royal remains weren’t exactly laid to rest.. Trigger warning: Its gonna get weird..

latin quarter, Maps

Passage du Clos Bruneau

October 15, 2021October 15, 2021 mwalesh

Passage du Clos Bruneau Paris 75005

I’m going to let you in on a little secret about Paris topography. The streets you see in front of you are just the surface; there are often entire old worlds discreetly hidden behind the facades of elegant Haussmann buildings that line the streets today- especially in the older areas of Paris like the Marais or the 5th arrondissement.

Walking through an open doorway or passage like this one can often give you the impression you stepped back into time. Here on the Rue des Écoles between Rue Monge and Rue Saint Jacques there is a secluded staircase only a few steps high, marked by a sign that says Passage du Clos Bruneau.

All that remains today is a short alleyway, but prior to the 12th century this was the location of a vineyard before becoming the Rue Judas in 1248, and finally the Rue du Clos Bruneau in 1838. Eventually the grapevines were replaced by books and printers to serve knowledge hungry students as more and more universities popped up in this neighborhood.

**Rue Judas seen from the Delisle map dated 1716**

When the Latin Quarter found itself modernized in the mid-19th century, the wide and illustrious Rue des Écoles bulldozed through the narrow medieval streets that once used to run through here, erasing them and all the history they were built on.

**Rue du Clos Bruneau in 1865 during construction of Rue des Ecoles, taken by Charles Marville.**

The Rue du Clos Bruneau was fortunate and instead of being entirely demolished; it was just shortened and hidden behind the grand Haussmann buildings you see on the Rue des Écoles today. But not all was lost!

**The building marked by the purple arrow on the right photo is hidden from street view today. Compare where the passage entrance you see today would have been in 1865**

If you look at old photos taken before this area was leveled, you can still see a few surviving buildings that were spared, giving you a rare glimpse into pre-Haussmann Paris when you take this hidden passage detour. Look closely at the old photo and see if you can recognize the same buildings that remains today from the 1865 photo taken by Charles Marville. Match and compare the colored arrows.

Blog, Dear Diary...

Summer 2021 Update

September 21, 2021 mwalesh

For the past three years I’ve had the luck to be able to spend my summers in America. Since I work as an English teacher in a preschool during the year in Paris, I have July and August off and prefer to return to Wisconsin so my daughter can enjoy fresh air, her cousins, and the beach close to my childhood home.

**The start of summer vacation, awaiting our flight at a very empty Charles de Gaulle Airport just before the big end of school rush**

I always say I have the best of both worlds to be able to live in Paris during the year and still give my daughter a taste of childhood in small town mid-west America for a few weeks in summer. I don’t think I could choose between the two.

I love Paris with all my heart but if I can avoid staying there in summer (especially now during covid-19), I will! Too hot, not enough to do, pools are over crowded, many places are closed, and if you do get a chance to escape Paris to go to the south or the coast, you find yourself asses to ankles with all the other also Parisians on the run from the city. If I wasn’t a mother it would be different, but my one big complaint about Paris is that it is just not kid friendly. I don’t say it with disgust, it’s my decision to stay here and subject myself to it when I do have the option of moving in the suburbs.. but if I have the choice to not be here for it, I’m OUT!

Growing up next to a beautiful beach and always having a ton of water activities, Paris feels like a desert in the summer. There’s the Seine river of course, but its not like you can jump in it! And if you want to know hell on earth; try being on a crowded bus on a hot Paris day. This might come as a shocker to Americans- but AC does not exist in Europe like it does in the states.

On the other end, leaving my family in Wisconsin is always a heart breaker, even though I know I don’t want to necessarily live there. I guess everything I took for granted before I moved to France- the wide aisles in stores, attached garages and big cars, air conditioning, king sized beds, cash back with debit card purchases, 24 hour Walgreens, automatic opening doors, even air so fresh you want to gulp it up like a cool beverage on a hot day: all of these things I just appreciate even more when I am home to enjoy them.

Giving my daughter the opportunity to know both of these environments and cultures is one of the best things I can do for her as a parent. How many American kids can say they know what its like to hop on a bus and arrive at the Louvre within 20 minutes or eat a gourmet three course lunch at school daily? How many Parisian kids can wake up and go outside on the patio to catch frogs (my daughter’s favorite thing to do) or roast s’mores by a fire at night?

**A ridiculously loaded Bloody Mary from Kewaunee, Wisconsin**

I thought about this often over the summer, especially since now at my eight year Paris anniversary where I finally feel really grounded in France. The best way I can explain it is that I consider Paris where my future is, but Wisconsin where my home is.