Maps – Page 6 – Paris History of our Streets

The Maison d’Ourscamp

April 21, 2021April 21, 2021 mwalesh

_{44-46, rue François Miron 75004 Paris}

During an exceptionally hot Paris weekend in June 2019, I was in a sweater and hard hat, assisting in the restoration of a chilly 13th century cellar in the heart of the Marais district in Paris.

**I have no business handling power tools**

Taken under the bearded wing of the coolest medieval expert stone mason David Poiron, I spent all weekend in heavy-duty gloves chiseling away at limestone blocks and destroying chunks of a vaulted archway that was to be restored. I probably inhaled a whole lot of 700-year-old gravel, but being in the company of other like-minded fans of history for an entire weekend was pretty incredible.

Armed with blunt and heavy tools I have no business handling, my mission that weekend consisted mostly of Bitch Work I was happy to be delegated due to my lack of stone cutting skills, like chiseling ridges in heavy blocks. These cumbersome but necessary ridges, made using iron wide toothed chisels, served to help the paint stick better to the stone it was placed against. Each of these blocks had a particular shape carved into each side; also to help the bonding agent to adhere better than being up against solid smooth stone.

And because the cellar is a historically protected site, you can’t just throw these guys in a machine to be spat out 30 seconds later perfectly shaped. Any work done here has to be done the same way it was originally done, with the same tools, materials, and methods. This is one reason why rebuilding Notre Dame cathedral is so complicated; much of the wood used to create the roof doesn’t exist anymore. The block I worked with that day will eventually be used to create a new identical rib for a damaged vault.

AND GUYS GUESS WHAT, as destiny would have it, the first stone I chose to shape already had been touched by a former cheeky stone mason who might have been my soul mate. In addition to a borderline perverse and immature sense of humor, this mysterious personage was also mathematically correct. Because this design will be fitted against an exact replica on another block and filled with glue it won’t be seen, so anyone clutching their peals can just relax.

As David pointed out to me in between my sporadique giggling fits, the phallus was carved using the Golden Ratio. So what is that? Well its super fucking cool that’s what. A mix of science and evolutionary psychology, the GR is the comparison of any two aspects, often using body parts that have the same ratios, on EVERYONE, that leads us to proportion them in the ideal way.

Try to follow as I explain while being as politically correct as possible. The measurements from lower nut sac to dick hole were identical to the distance between my pinky finger tip and thumb finger tip. From exterior left ball to the right ball, my index finger was an exact match. One could say deez nuts are perfect, in the eyes of God.

**The 13th century gothic cave of the Maison d’Ourscamp** **today**

If you are in Paris, you can check out the cellar and its building for yourself at l’Association Paris Historique 44-46 rue François-Miron in the 4th arrondisement. They have been in the process of restoring this cellar since the 60’s, which was once part of a building belonging to 13th Cistercian monks before that building was demolished, and the current one put in place in the 15th century, right on top of the old one, leaving the cellar in need of some TLC but intact.

To join as a member costs only 40 euro per year and they host a ton of interesting events like historical tours (which you get a discounted rate) and discussions with historical experts. Link here Association Paris Historique – Sauvegarde et mise en valeur (paris-historique.org)

latin quarter, Maps

The Gruesome Truth of Emily’s Paris Apartment Location

April 16, 2021 mwalesh

_{Place de l’Estrapade Paris 75005}

Have you heard of the new show “Emily in Paris With a View of Sinister Public Square”? Probably not, because the Netflix series left out the dark historic background of the common area directly in front of her dreamy Paris apartment.

Nestled in the cleavage between the rue des Fossés Saint Jacques and rue Lhomond, the Place de l’Estrapade was once the backyard of Phillippe Auguste’s fortified wall that encircled medieval Paris. A perfect spot to read books amongst the manicured plots of flowers, relax on a bench in front of the fountain, or use as a backdrop for Emily’s quaint Paris Apartment; this little park is often overlooked when compared to the famous neighboring Jardin du Luxembourg.

**Map from 1630 indicating Place de l’Estrapade**

But despite the tranquility that can be easily found there, this nugget of land has a malevolent past… Take a look at the close up of Place de l’Estrapade from the 1630 Paris map made by Jean Sauvé. See that flagpole thingy? Named after the torture device known as the estrapade (or strappado), this is the site where predominately military deserters were punished for abandoning their posts.

There’s enough negativity in the word today so I’ll avoid explaining how this cruel practice was done and leave it to your imagination … JUST KIDDING! What do you think this is, another Perfectly Paris Instagram page?

Anyways, the criminal (or victim depending on where your sympathies lie you big fat Treasonous Traitor) would have his arms tied tightly behind his back with a rope, which was then attached to a pulley high off the ground. The person would be hoisted up by this rope, dangled, then abruptly dropped to a distance NOT QUITE touching the ground. Kinda like Medieval Sky Diving Gone Wrong.

Hey, no ever said torture had to be sophisticated to be effective! However, the goal was simply to reinforce the consequences of abandoning a military post by breaking a few limbs and causing lifelong disfigurement and pain rather than executing.

latin quarter, Maps

The Medieval Arch Under the Post Office

April 16, 2021 mwalesh

_{30 rue du Cardinal Limoine Paris 75005}

Going to the Post Office is never a pleasant affair, and is ranked #3 Worst Things To In Paris (after going to the bank and dentist). The hours are always inconvenient, you can expect to wait in a half assed line full of annoyed Parisians murmuring “ça fait chier” (This sucks) and standard postage stamps are nearly a euro each.

However there is a historical exception to this normally unpleasant experience. In the depths of the 2nd underground level beneath this post office, you can view a stone arch that was once imbedded in the medieval fortification wall that encircled Paris 800 years ago. This 12th century stone rampart was erected to defend Paris before King Philippe Auguste took off on his 3rd Jimmy Buffet cruise. I mean religious crusade.

I did this tour two year’s ago when each first Wednesday of the month at 2:30pm, a tour guide from the Paris Historical Society came to the Post Office to take anyone who is interested into the parking garage down to the -2 level.

And there, behind a large metal door and in a small concrete room, sits the 800-year-old stone archway. What is it?! Where did it come from? Why is it here?! What WOULD Jimmy do??

Before the aforementioned wall was built around Paris, in this location there was only the Abbey Saint Victor and a small river called the Bièvre. This river was rerouted to create the Canal of Victorins, which provided an irrigation system to water plants and turn windmills for the residents at the Abbey. King Philippe’s wall was built right over where this river ran, so an archway was created to allow the water to pass through it. As this open archway could comprise the safety of the wall, a metal grill was inserted inside it. After 1356, a ditch was dug around the wall to further secure it against potential invaders and the canal was eliminated.

**The Abbay Saint Victor in 1655, engraving by Merian**

The ramparts of Philippe August were eventually demolished (kinda, sorta) and the ditch filled in; entombing this archway as Paris became larger and a new, larger fortification wall was built. Fast forward to 1989 when workers discovered the arch while constructing a new (and hideously modern) building at this location. A historic preservation company was assigned to survey the site (if I could go back to school for anything this would be it) and see what other goodies were hidden under the dirt. They found 400-year-old shoes, currency, and even plaster remains from an old sculpture shop that was located at this corner in the 19th century.

As for the archway; it was dismantled and each stone was labeled, then reconstructed Tetris style in this room in May 1991, where you can see it today; two levels below the street and not far from its original location at the wall of Philippe Auguste.

**Plaque outside the post office “Wall of KIng Philipe Auguste. Here was the Entry Saint Victor built in the 13th century, rebuilt in 1568, and demolished in 1684”**

There are several other locations in Paris where you can still see traces of this 800 year old wall I’ll eventually share. For now, I’ll leave you with the inspirational speech King Phillipe allegedly gave to his team of royal wall builders. “Build me something tall and strong.Make it long remain, before I go away. It’s only half past the twelfth century, but I don’t care- it’s crusade time somewhere.”

Maps, The Louvre and Palais Royal

The Tiny Shop of Treasures

April 16, 2021 mwalesh

_{18 rue Saint-Roch 75001}

This may not be one of those juicy, significantly historical landmarks in Paris, but the history is no less dear. This miniscule former antique shop located just off the Rue Saint Honoré and nestled into a 17th century church first opened as a hair salon in 1630 (probably specializing in Sword Bowl Cuts) before succumbing to the antiques trade in 1638 (imagine antiquing in the 17th century).

The building was absorbed into the église Saint Roch when construction started up and around it in 1653. For the next 370 some years, it was business as usual in this TINY boutique, which most recently was owned by a certain Roger, who sold his eclectic collection of religious trinkets, vintage photos, and even fresh eggs.

**Roger’s boutique, photos from momentsparfait.com**

Lacking space (I’ve seen bigger walk-in closets) but not creativity, the 16th century stone staircase was even used as functional selling space. How I would have loved to rummage through his shop! Unfortunately, Roger closed his doors sometime around 2016 and moved back to his home town. I read about it years ago online somewhere and I could kick myself today for not going in when I first stopped by to see the staircase years ago. I think my excuse was that there were a few people already in there at the time, probably bringing the store a few people past capacity! When I researched this last year, I passed by to see what was occupying this prime real estate space and was saddened to see it replaced by yet another, one in a million-Parisian concept stores- which among other cute, but unpractical things; sells bags, specifically for your passport.

And I have nothing against people that chose to pay a lower middle class ransom for fashionable paper bag dresses, but did they really have to erase the antiques sign and “house founded in 1638” store front? C’MON!

Maps, The Marais

Where Napoleon Popped His Cherry

April 14, 2021 mwalesh

_{33 rue Vauvilliers Paris 75001}

Napoleon Bonapartre or Napoleon Born2Party? History’s favorite not-so-little General had a hot and steamy sex life with his first wife Josephine (look up their raunchy love letters if you want to read 18th century smut lit.) but we can thank a certain Mademoiselle Deschamps for making a man out of the scrawny 18 year old with greasy hair and thick Italian/Corsican accent.

In November 1787, teenage Napoleon came to Paris to finish military training. He must have been lonely because one evening he left his hotel on the rue du Four-Saint-Honoré and wandered around the Palais Royale neighborhood, which was the equivalent of a bourgeois red light district at the time.

**The Galleries of the Palais Royal where Napoleon once wandered…**

He later would write in his journal about “The First Time”. _{Here is my personal translation of these events set in a 21st century dialogue.}

Thursday November 22, 1787 Hotel de Cherbourg, rue du Four-Saint-Honoré: So there I was, walking around kicking rocks in the Galleries of the Palais Royale when I spot a really pathetic looking hooker. She was pale and thin and barely a teenager but her awkwardness at playing an adult was kind of a turn on. I asked her how she wasn’t freezing her ass off in that crop top and was pleased to find her a little shy but easy to talk to. We started shooting the shit, talking about her hometown of Nantes and how she found herself in this line of work (“she was taken advantage of by a soldier. Then another, who took her to Paris. Then another who she lived with for 3 years but it didn’t work out because he was two timing her with an English lady) and why she didn’t do something else (“Embroidery and babysitting ain’t gonna pay my bills. Heels and hustle baby”). She suggested we go back to my digs and I played dumb, asking her what we would do. She replied “We will warm up and then play butt games”. Now I’m normally not much of a spontaneous guy, but considering my failure to successfully seduce a woman up until this point, I figured what the hell, why not. It was now or wind up a 20 year old virgin!“

Napoleon stayed at this hotel for several months and was described as shy, awkward, and a little sad. He signed his name in the register using the Italian-ized Napolione Buonaparte. According to the owner, he only left his room (3rd floor, room #9) for meals which he took at a nearby deli.

**The very room where Napoleon lost his virginity**

The hotel was destroyed in 1914 and the portion it was on razed to create pavillons 1&2 of the old Les Halles centralized Paris markets. Today the street is named Rue Vauvilliers and the exact placement of where Napoleon lost his V card is located in a children’s park. Napoleon didn’t leave us any further juicy details of this important life event but he did grow out of his awkwardness not long after. Only 17 years later he would declare himself Emperor of France. You can read the original diary entry transcript here. https://www.napoleon.org/…/une-rencontre-au-palais-royal/